I understand your point but as I have very bad experiences from my former therapy when it comes to having opinions. I think most T:s rather look for a non sceptical client than one who is. Perhaps this varies from person to person and depending on their theoretical orientation.
Iīve just now asked this actual T if I may ask her some more questions when thinking about how to do, and whom to choose. The first time, in the e-mail I sent, I didnīt use a question mark and when she answered back she didnīt answer or comment on if I can or canīt ask her more questions.
Now, because of that I sent her another e-mail, now with question marks and Iīm now waiting for her to answer me. I now also asked her if she wanted me to call her or e-mail her, also using a question mark at the end.
This is like a test now, being allowed to ask a few questions more even if I had my evaluation sessions already, is an obvious thing to be allowed to do as I see it. If she denies this, I donīt think Iīll consider working with her.
I agree to that you can schedule a session and tell the T youīre going to work with her and then despite that choose to leave. But it wouldnīt feel ok doing so, itīs another thing starting therapy and then after some months or so decide to leave because it didnīt work out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaybird57
"As I havenīt chosen this T, Iīve only told her Iīll think about if I want to proceed into therapy I do think she might think itīs not a good start if I present several things Iīm sceptical about or donīt like.
Well, if you do present the several things you're skeptical about and she doesn't like what you say or she says that working together isn't going to work, then you'll have your answer . . . she's not the right one for you. I think talking and negotiating the process is a good thing to do. A lot of therapists would be interested and excited to work with a client who demonstrates the assertiveness to do this.
The other thing is that it's fine to contract for three or four or five or hundred more sessions. And it's also fine to simply say you're open to going and then changing your mind later. Once you commit to doing therapy with her it doesn't mean you have to stay until she says you're done! You're the one who is in control of how long you're going to stay and work with her. It's great when clients and therapists both decide when the work is done, but in reality, you get to make that decision. So you really have nothing to lose if you just call her up and make another appointment, and at the end of that session, you make another one . . . or not. You are in control of the entire process!
"I assume itīs better doing something than nothing, that is go into therapy instead of just sitting at home doing nothing. But as I have to pay for therapy myself, the wrong choice has severe consequences as you donīt get your money back if not satisfied. "
I think a lot of people have to pay for therapy themselves, PaulaS. I know I do. Like you, that makes it very important for me to find the right person to work with. It's why I have no problem walking away if I feel that things aren't right or a good fit. No, we don't get our money back if not satisfied, but that isn't the case with any personal service we pay for. If we're not happy with a course we take in college, we don't get to ask for our money back. If the massage therapist I go to doesn't get me relief for the ache in my lower back, I don't get to ask for my money back. If I'm not happy with my doctor, I can't ask for my money back. If the dentist I go to doesn't solve the problem I'm having with my teeth, I don't get to ask for my money back. I find a new dentist or a new doctor or transfer to a new college or find a new massage therapist. These aren't easy things to do, especially when you're in pain or hurting emotionally, but that's the way things work works.
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