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Facing these feelings is just too difficult for me right now and I'm just keeping myself busy with writing code. It's just relieving to be in a state of mind where I need to work and think like a machine.
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Right, being a machine brings temporary relief from the feelings, but it does not solve the problem.
You might was to look for someone who does exposure therapy. Your situation is akin to someone who has a fear of elevators, or of crossing the street: confronting the fears step-by-step, preferably with a therapist to guide you, is a recognized way to find some permanent relief.