Hi there mates.
My life is a mess. Really. I hate myself. I'm shy, I have very very very low self-esteem, I feel weak, useless and sometimes I can't defend myself when others attacking me physically or verbally, socially awkward, too kind with the other and they profit of this, incapable to make new relationship and new friends (I have very few friends and none of them is a true friend that care of me) I have lots of paranoia too. These are ruining my life. I always feel inferior to the other person, I feel ugly (I have acne that ruin my face), no confidence in myself, incapable to impress others, I always think I smell bad (this is a paranoia for sure since I take a shower everyday but if someone near me start to gasp I go in paranoia and I finish ruining the day). This is enough? No, I'm gay too. Although I'm finally accepting this because this is the nature I am and I cannot change it , here where I live is still a negative thing and I don't talk about this with anyone. I want really bad someone to love and loves me. I feel alone , an empty person. Really mates, my life sucks. I want to change . I want to be like the other guys at my age that are always happy, full of friends, not shy, no paranoia and that enjoy their lives. I feel like I'm wasting precious time of my life that will never come back. Sorry for my bad English but I'm not from UK. Cheers