Thanks everyone for the replies! Glad I found this forum. There is really no substitute for hearing from others with similar experience.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PeeJay
That therapist also over-shared details from the therapist's personal life, which made me feel like we were in it together and that we had a lot in common.
When the therapy ended on bad terms, it nearly wrecked me. It took me more than a year to fully recover, actually. I had no idea that therapy could be dangerous to our psyche.
|
Same here re: the sharing of details. Its big part of what made this different from other Ts. Felt much more personal, familiar, and most importantly… ambiguous. This created such internal chaos. It was a "dual relationship" where you are going back and forth between personal and professional. She admitted to this after the fact, which is good, but it barely put a dent in the guilt and shame I felt.
I also had little idea it could be so dangerous. As one T said to me, clients receive little info about the risks or possible outcomes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Echos Myron
I have huge attachment issues with my first T and I am choosing to terminate for many of the same reasons you identify in your mutual termination. I can relate to what you say about your T's boundary issues, and I think that is where most of the damage was done for me. Long story short, I f***ing love this guy. I have to leave because a boundaried relationship with him hurts me over and over again.
I am lucky because I have found a good T to work through the indescribable grief of losing him. There is an aching void that can't be filled by a new T but I think the grief is something I have a chance of healing from.
I'm sorry you are going through a similar loss. I think the uniqueness of the relationship intensifies the pain.
|
So you fell in love with your T? And you terminated because of the boundary problems, or because your feelings for him made it unworkable? Sorry you are going thru this too. What were the boundary issues?
I have horrible internal conflict because, like you, i was getting hurt over and over. But I also feel overwhelming desire to go back because of the attachment pull I guess, plus I need the meaningful connection desperately. I became a junkie and she was my fix, and then the drug was withdrawn with no tapering, no replacement, and i went into a spiral.
For me what became very dangerous was the idealization (not sure what exactly led to that). She felt so perfect that I could not bear to go on without her in my life. Thought about her constantly. So when she cut me off, became distant, subtly blamed and shamed me, the disillusionment was crushing.
Aching void… indeed, well said. Good that you have someone to help you now.