How you are feeling is clouding your judgement. I agree with the others it may be best that you go IP for a breather until this settles down, and it will settle down. Do you see your pdoc soon? Os there a crisis line you can call? This is serious stuff. I know when I feel that way I am a definite danger to myself and need to be in a secure environment until it blows over as I cannot be trusted on my own. Take what ever steps you can to keep yourself safe. We all care here at PC.