Yeah, working doesn't solve the problem but it helps me pass the hormones that I'm feeling as time passes by. It's just my long-term solution to this problem thats a bit of a gamble.

I wouldn't say exposure therapy would benefit me. It's not a fear of taking things step by step, if anything I feel like a strong cognitive behavioral therapy would be a better approach. My behaviors are irrational, not fear related. I would regret my decisions that I have made. I feel more regret than fear. Once I hit a strong feeling of regret I would regress into depression. :/

I mean exposure therapy is a part of cognitive therapy but I feeling like the problem is regret. Whenever I would make a decision, I would carefully exam the choices. If I believe that the choice is not in my favor then I wouldn't initiate that choice.

My main focus as of right now is to not fall back into depression and throw my life away. I know I have potential, but I never really worked hard to be an efficient person. I've been a slacker way too long. I'm just tired of barely studying to get a B. I want to work hard to have different opportunities and have the strength and will power to act upon it.

Maybe myself analysis might be wrong and confusing, and maybe you are right. But as of right now, I'm just rationalized to avoid depression at all costs.

Thanks for responding again.