So this morning I got a phone call from L -- I happened to be just awaking, so thankfully I let voice mail answer. He's sorry about the way he acted; he's noticed that he's engaging in self-defeating behaviours, never expected to find himself broke and jobless and back in New Orleans at age 50. Can he have a second chance?

My feeling is "No." I spent my entire childhood trying to please a capricious mother, and the man I married when I was young was similar -- pouting and giving me the silent treatment, and refusing to tell me what I'd done wrong.

My T said I should be careful bec. when we're in a slump, we tend to attract other people who are not positive and healthy, either. I feel for L, I truly do, and I hate to tell someone who's down, "No, you can't have a second chance."

But I'm not seeing how this would be good for me, when I feel as if I'm walking on eggshells with him and have to watch every word I use. Or, for that matter, if my vocabulary contains so many trigger words, for L.

Any thoughts?