Zen, I am so sorry to hear this, my heart goes out to you.
Cutting, is not what your beloved pet would want to know you turned to, our pets will love us forever I believe as we love them forever. I now have another dog, it breaks my heart watching my older one getting old but sadly that is part of the life cycle, the best we can do is embrace the living days and fondly remember those that make the past. I saw a little plaque I bought that is so true:
"dogs leave pawprints on our hearts"
Try to hang in there, I know it is really tough, been there so many times with our family dogs.
I am sending you mucho ((((((((((( Zen )))))))))))))

Love,
DE