I was incested by both my dad and my grandmother. My dad finally left the home. The incest continued with my grandmother.

In my mother's case, she had been raised to believe that she was to take care of her mother for the rest of her life, which she did.

I don't know how much she knew about what was going on. I don't know if she ignored, dissociated or thought that it was "normal" since it had happened to her.

The anger, the rage, the resentment and the pain... I've been through it all. So much so that I desecrated their grave in my rage against them. They lie together. I never visit the grave because the perp is there right along with my mother.

I've come to terms with what was done to me and also the fact that my mother didn't protect me. I have forgiven my mother... probably because I felt I HAD to. I need that connection, although she wasn't the mother that I needed. At 63 and having lost my mother 22 yrs ago, my "inner child" still cries out "I want my mommy!!" I know it's the "mommy" I needed back then, but picturing myself in her arms, smelling her smell and feeling her soft hand stroke me is sometimes enough.

The acute pain does go away... if you can find it in your heart to forgive, to overlook their weaknesses and concentrate on the good things.

Bronee... FreeWill... continue posting about it, talk it out. The more you bring it out into the sunlight, the better it gets, the easier the pain gets to bare.