hi newguy93, sorry to hear that you are struggling. I know its hard when you feel out of place. To get to the bottom of your paranoia and self esteem issues, have you spoken to a professional about these feelings? It may be possible that there is an underlying issue that is causing this to happen. Once you figure out why you are having social anxiety and paranoia you can the learn to use positive coping to manage it. Then you can start to build your social life. Also, as far as acne, there are plenty of over the counter treatments to help with that. If you find no luck through store bought remedies, a general practitioner can maybe prescribe you a stronger treatment to control that issue. As far as you being gay? Who cares? That is as nature intended you to be. I'm sorry to hear that it is not accepted where you are. Do not EVER let anyone else tell you that its not okay. It is okay. You are who you are and be proud of that.