Yes, you´re correct, my former T acted in a defensive way when I brought her complaints about some parts of the therapy. Those issues were though far more complicated than this matter with this new potential T.
I agree to that I have to be honest and tell this potential T what I feel but even if I now have done that it perhaps doesn´t solve the issue. I mean, she'll answer my e-mail but there´s a great risk she´ll answer in a way that just makes me more hesitant. As we have no more sessions scheduled until I decide I choose her therapy the only way to tell her this was by e-mail as she said she preferred e-mails before calls.
I told her how her actions made me feel and I questioned her about finding me interesting as a potential client or not. I said I think she overlooked showing a caring side to this matter. As this is communication with a T I don't fully trust their reactions. Perhaps she just thinks I´m demanding but she doesn´t express that and keep working.
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Originally Posted by Jaybird57
I'm not sure if I'm remembering correctly, but didn't you feel that your former therapist got irritated by your challenges and questions and you feel that was what lead to the termination? It makes sense to me that this has lead to you being hesitant to even begin therapy for fear of again being terminated. BUT if you don't talk about this fear with the therapist and demonstrate the behavior with this new therapist, you're not going to get an upfront, honest response because she's not going to be aware or cognizant of what you're asking. As another poster mentioned, tests are filled with flaws and almost guarantee that the person you're testing is going to fail. Why not make another appointment and tell her outright that part of your strong defenses in relationships is to question, question, question, followed up with lots of challenges?  See how she responds. Does she ask for examples? If not, tell her you'd like to give her an example of what you're talking about. Does she consider what you're saying and respond with thoughtfulness and straightforwardness? Don't be coy and put it in an email! Be transparent and open to saying what you want. You can do this. It's an important skill to learn in relationships and you have already said you struggle with relationships and want to change things for yourself. Maybe begin here with this potential relationship! |