I made it through the day. Prayed on the way to work. Listened to a good playlist. I was a little distant today, but I'm confident in the decisions that I made. Tired but wired.

Last month was the first time I charted everyday for the whole month. I have not been back to my pdoc yet. The problem is when I don't fill it in, i don't remember how the weeks have been. I think my biggest frustration is that the chart does't fit my moods unless I'm middle ground. I need an app that will allow me to check off symptoms and it assign a number.

I think my biggest frustration is that i just feel how i feel and I don't know if i'm up or down. I just know that the promise of my day slips away in front of my eyes. There is no number that can express that.

Hooligan, you said exactly how I feel. I always feel so frustrated with the idea that the chart doesn't include {all real numbers}. I totally think there should be a 25 and negative numbers.

I really don't know what info is useful and what is just me going overboard. Today it feels like no one is listening (in my physical world). If i can get my thoughts together for my T and pdoc appointments next week, i will express them. I worry so much that i feel like i get in there and my thoughts over run themselves. They tend go from a neatly typed page to a scrabble board dropped on the floor. I'm middle ground when I walk in and can't remember how bad it's been. When I feel the way I feel. I just feel that way. When I feel a different way. I forget how that way felt.

Anyways, thanks for the support.