First of all, post as many thread as you desire, we are here to listen and hopefully help. Just please, get it out of your system and blow-off steam, we know how you feel, friend.

Second of all, try as much as you can to not hurt yourself. Don't stretch that behavior until you can't calm down until you see gore. The struggle you're going through is, I'm pretty sure, since it can't be mentioned in details, very hard and disturbing.

No matter how much of a struggle you are going through, please don't be suicidal. Life is hard, but it's worth living. What is there after suicide? Nobody knows. So, please don't think about throwing yourself into the unknown. Your life is precious, dear friend. Your have a very simple request, which is to live a balanced and happy life, and sleep and wake up with peaceful thoughts. Please, don't make this world worry about being forced to lose one its very special individuals, which is what you are, DEFINITELY!