I understand what you mean. The point I'm trying to make to PaulaS is that her expectations of a T are far in excess of what can be reasonably provided. She wants to know that this T cares about her already on a human level, but the T doesn't even really know her yet.

I understand that this is part of the problem PaulaS may need to deal with in therapy. This same dynamic may be going on in other areas of her life, and addressing it in a therapeutic setting may help shed light on the impact it has in other settings as well.

PaulaS: I know I'm being blunt, but by sharing my observations with you I am hoping it will help you see how your behaviour may be being interpreted by others. Of all people, a T should be able to handle your behaviours as that is what they are trained to do. However, they can't help you if you don't show up.

You have to work just as hard as the T does, and that may mean being open to listening to the feedback of others - including your T.

I strongly suggest you do not engage in any email / text communication with your T. I can see it being a landmine for you.