My experience with CBT was very similar, Jay.

My siblings both ended up in and out of jail and also abuse of heavy drugs; I was so determined to not let that be my fate, so I had read psychology and self-help books starting in childhood, but mostly in my teens though my early 20s. I even joined to military to try to redirect my adversity to something I thought might be positive (helping others in adverse situations). Later, I wanted to start a non-profit organization, but my depression/emotional problems surfaced and have been at the forefront for some time now.

I had intellectualized all my problems and 'distortions' for years; by the time I got to CBT (was referred by psychiatrist), the pointing out of cognitive distortions seemed so silly. I would constantly say, "but I know that, but that is not how I feel". There are often times where I say that to my current psychoanalytic therapist. "I know that, but i'm just telling you how I feel".

Aside from CBT; in general, insight and interpretations are not enough for some. Like you said Jay, I needed the relationship. Through the relationship I got things my parents did not provide-focus on my well-being, believing in me, etc. That has helped me more than anything. If I had only known sooner...not getting people into the appropriate therapies is a problem in the MH profession imo.

So I think the attachment is worth all the risks. I do agree it can cause further damage, leaving someone worse than when they started. I don't have a solution, but despite the common notion that education does not matter for successful therapy, in terms of those who do get re-traumatized, i often think more therapists need better training in trauma, attachment, transference, etc. I find it really disturbing.