Sounds like you asked a lot of her but that's ok. It's ok to need reassurance, it's ok to be undecided. After the previous experience all of your fear and feelings are valid and any good T would contain them and handle them. She couldn't so it's good she got out now. Who would want therapy like that?

Why not reply to the older T, the one set to retire. You may be able to do some valid work and she sounds not intimidated by what you need.