We cannot change our past, this is true, however, when a person's past does affect them in the now, that means it is time to finally address the past and be allowed to mourn it properly so we can process all the things we never were allowed to, or knew how to in our past. It helps us understand what affects us in the now that comes from our past, and as we sort through whatever does challenge us, we can finally grow from it instead of continuing to push it away or be ashamed or feel guilt somehow about whatever is in our past.