First, I'm vert sorry you're going through this, I understand it's very stressful. I think her comment about counter transference was odd so it may be a good thing after all that it didn't work out. I think it's still important to put your expectations in perspective though if you items to look for another T.

My T and pdoc are both in very busy offices and all appointments are first come first serve. That means open appointments for the next week are usually filled if I don't make a decision by days end. They do not "hold" appointments, especially for new clients. I know it can feel personal and be hurtful when appointments are given away, but it's not personal at all. There are a lot of people who need help and it's not fair to them to "hold" an appointment for someone who's on the fence when someone else is ready to be seen. If you depersonalize the therapy experience and view it as a professional service (which it is) this may sting less. At one point I was a little demanding of my pdoc and wanted longer appointments (50 vs 30 minutes). It was hard for them to squeeze me in and finding appointments became stressful. But the process reminded me that he has other clients, and a lot of them. I said to him at one longer session that I'd go back to shorter appointments because I knew there were other people who need his time time too and sometimes more than me. He agreed that I was right and I scaled back. It doesn't mean he didn't care, it meant there are other people besides me who need his time. That's not always easy to accept but it puts the relationship and a therapists role in perspective. I hope this helps a little because you clearly want to make a change but are having trouble trusting that it can happen and you will be ok.