Now itīs no longer a question of booking another session with her, she told me she wanted to end our contact and that led up to this post. Here, three evaluation sessions are standard but I realise this varies from country to country.
There was no kind of evaluation going on in e-mails, before I asked her some complementary questions I firstly asked her if it was ok to ask her those questions and next, I asked her if she wanted me to call her or e-mail her. What else could Iīve done.
As the next step had been scheduling a session based on the fact Iīd choosen her as my T. In such a case I couldnīt meet with her and bring her questions that you ask before you even decide to proceed.
Perhaps it looks like I have a lot of demands and try to push this T in different directions but thatīs not true. Iīve been careful about asking about e-mails for example, when I had to decide if entering therapy and so on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellowbuggy
I'm sorry it didn't work out.
The reality is that the evaluation session is for both you and the T to see if you want to work with eachother. For some reason, she decided she did not want to work with you. This is what happened with the last T as well. There is a dynamic at work here that is important to tease out.
I'm not suggesting that it's your fault, but rather asking you to be open to some of the feedback you've received and see if your actions may be precipitating this response.
I suggested that you book a session to discuss your concerns with the T, as opposed to emailing her. I said you could always stop going if you decide she wasn't for you. She provided you three evaluation sessions (which is very unusual; most provide only one), yet you tried to continue the evaluation process via email instead of booking a session to discuss it face to face. Your response to my suggestion indicated you didn't really take my feedback into consideration at all, which is a pattern I see with you: you ask for feedback, you get it, and then you ignore it.
You can hold on to the argument that 'she said you could email her', but I think you know that it's a grey area. I don't think she meant you could continue the evaluation sessions with her via email. She asked you to make a decision, and you didn't. It is within her right to decide whether or not she wants to work with someone who will respect her needs as well. Yes, even T's have needs.
I think group therapy would be a great option for you because it will allow you the opportunity to work with a T in a social setting. Operating within a social framework will help you learn how to work with other people who have needs as well. It's a delicate balance.
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