I am sorry. I didn't want to hurt you when I said it. Please, don't take my words as a judgment because it isn't. I just expressed my vision of the situation, which is based on what I've learned from my life experiences. I am not saying you are doing something wrong. What I am saying is that you need to be clear about your own needs at all times if you want to avoid disappointments, and, unfortunately, being in such pain, you can't have the clarity you need to get an adequate help.