Thread: Devastated!!!
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Old Feb 20, 2015, 06:53 PM
Anonymous37777
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PaulaS View Post
I couldnīt agree more to the thing you said about T:s wanting to fill their slots with clients who have easier issues to deal with. By that, I think many T:s shouldnīt have choosen to become T:s. Many of them seem to think it should be as easy as having "coffee and a chat". Such T:s just make people worse than they were before.
I totally feel for what you're going through, Paula. I understand that you're hurt and feeling rejected, and you have a right to feel that way. But I do think that the kind of thinking you're using above is faulty and will end up hurting you in the end in your search for a therapist. It's a bit judgmental and I know that you are personally hurt by the judgment of the therapists who have chosen not to work with you. It is the right of everyone to decide what career he/she goes into. If the therapist is licensed, then he/she has done the course work and jumped through the hoops to stay certified. No license translates into meaning that person is a fantastic therapist. As in any profession, there are people at the top who are exceptional, people in the middle who are adequate and people at the bottom who are pretty bad. It's hard weeding out the good from the bad but it can happen and I've seen it from posters here on Psych. Central. As a client, I get to interview the different therapists I'm interested in, I get to try out a few sessions and stay or leave based on how the sessions went. The therapist gets to do the same with me. Just because I walk through the door doesn't mean that that therapist has to work with me and if they chose not to it doesn't have to mean that they are just looking for an easy client. There are a lot of reasons I chose not to work with a therapist and I'm sure there are a lot of reasons why they might not chose to work with me. Sure I'd be hurt and rejected if one of them said, "No, I don't think we're a good match." I've said that to therapists I've interviewed more than a few times. They have the same right.

Maybe as someone mentioned, she had a lot of high need clients and felt that your needs were going to be intense and she didn't think she could work effectively with you. Maybe she's a crack pot and thought your questions were inappropriate and challenging. . . you admit that you like to challenge and that isn't a bad thing! But some therapists don't like to be challenged, they like to sit in their tower of knowledge and be right That isn't the right therapist for you, right? So count yourself lucky that this woman said it wasn't going to work out.

I do agree with many of the other posters on here that you really need to not email back and forth with the next therapist if you do decide to do a bit more searching. Go to the appointment and ask the question face-to-face. If you don't understand what the therapist is saying, ask for clarification, don't go home and stew about the answer and try to glean what he/she was saying. Ask in person until you understand! I really wish you luck in whatever you decide.
Thanks for this!
Gavinandnikki