(((Middlemarcher)))

I love the example about drowning-yes, that's EXACTLY it!

thanks for that, and for offering your thoughtful opinions. Of course no one knows, but it's the insights, intuitions, and intellect that I was interested in hearing from you all this time around.

It really helped to read the feedback in this thread. Between writing here, the consult Ts advice, and my own reflection, I've processed a lot. I've come to the conclusion, and that it is that anger has surfaced and has risen to the forefront. He's been wanting to work through my anger for awhile now, but it never came out before...trapped by an introject..Now it's seeping out of every crack! I think it will be worthwhile to work through it; then again, I wonder if the Spock factor will remain...

Don't know if things are going to work, but I really like my T so it's worth another chance. We'll see next week when I meet with him.

I was recently watching a youtube video about borderline, and Marsha Linehan mentioned that separation feels LITERALLY like life and death. Fits in with all of this pretty well, good timing. Still enormously sad.

eta-"it" is one part of it...but a big part of it