I've been up since 2am. Cheese and rice, that is too early for me! I'll be making some coffee for myself at 5am, maybe a PB&J or two too. Apparently my kitty is a morning person too. She's killing me with cuteness.

I'm up this early because I move today and I'm anxious and depressed. However, logically it makes sense. I just hate change and down-grading from my lake view to a ****** little room at my mother's that isn't even drywalled. However, I can always move back if I find stability or move to my sister's in California and start over there.

Either way, I need to find a better job. One that gives me a W2, health benefits and sick days. I have a college degree now. The only trouble is, I don't want an office job where I'm working on spreadsheets. The days would go by too slowly. I like my job but it's half the reason I'm moving out, the other half is because of my mental illness. Life really can kick you in the ***. I was on a flight path and then next thing I know I'm looking up at the stars, rubbing my bead, wondering what just happened. What a tragedy that those in the philosophy department couldn't forgive someone who clearly was not themselves. Why that department hires average joes instead of great people are beyond me. I think a great person would have found the strength to see it was the mental illness and forgive me. sigh, im still prickly about this.