i saw a psychiatrist here in france (I live in france though I'm american). I told him what was going on with my life. Told him that I started divorce proceedings after my husband admitted that he sexually molested my eldest daughter when she was 9 years old. he also told me that here in france, it does not matter as he did not penetrate her. after i told him i wanted a divorce for fault, he re-fired me from the company that i created with him (actually the money came from me - he didnt have a dime when i met him). so he took my job. then, he and his mother falsely accused me of beating up his mother. 20 months later, i was acquitted of all charges since it was evident in her testimony that she was lying. He kidnapped my youngest daughter. the judge here further rewarded him for the kidnapping by giving 100% custody of my youngest daughter to him after he falsely accused me of wanting to leave france and to take my youngest daughter. he also stole my children's (his step-children, the one he molested and the second one - he tried to moles) money. we also lost our home after the judge gave him the enjoyment of the villa we bought (which again my money actually paid for). my children and I have been dispersed because i could no longer provide for them. oh - one thing - i was diagnosed with severe discarthrose two months before we separated. he also lied to the judge here telling them i was earning money (this after he fired me from the company we created) and therefore the judge commanded me to pay child support for my youngest daughter. due to my physical ailment and the traumatic stress of the kidnapping, losing my family, losing my job, losing my home, losing whatever little money was left, and being homeless and also being threatened by him that he will pay people to make me disappear if we don't quit compaining about the sexual molestation, i found it quite difficult to cope. my spoken and written french is also not good enough so talking to the authorities here has been a nightmare as well.

i recall the day the judge gave 100% custody of my youngest daughter to this pedophile. oh before i forget, i need to mention that we have a formal complaint that is still being processed - it takes a very long time for justice (here in france) to process these complaints. Too long of a time - in fact more than enough time to allow the abuser to do more harm to the victims all over again. The day he was given 100% custody of my daughter, i swear was the first day i sort of stop breathing.

nowadays, i catch myself not breathing (or holding my breath) a lot of times. my neck and shoulders also hurt all the time. i dont know if thats because of my severe discarthrose (discs in the neck area) or if its because of stress.

ever since my daughter told the truth about the sexual molestation, he has started to make his life's mission to demolished me. in fact, he stopped work alltogether and started getting 600.00 euros a month from the french government (money they give to people that do not work). with the 'free' housing (my villa) that he has, he took in a russian mistress and started selling our common property (oil paintings, furniture, carpets, dvd collection, etc.)... they also sold my personal property such clothing and furniture that i bought before i even married him....

since i could not work and i didnt earn money and was homeless, i couldnt pay the child support money. he then had my one an only possession that i took with me (since we had two of them, one mine, one his) - my car - he had it seized and had it auctioned off.

my psychiatrist knows all this and he told me that i have every right to be angry and depressed and scared as well when i feel helpless. in fact my psychiatrist told me that what i need is a good lawyer - which i could not get since my soon to be ex- stole all my money....

sorry for this long post.

question is - should i take medication for my depression and anger? the day the judge gave my youngest daughter to this pedophile, i started taking this pills called lysanxia. i only take half a pill when i feel anxious. i get a box of them (20 pills i think in a box) and the box can last me for up to 3 months since i only take half a pill when i really feel anxious.

i generally dont like drugs but i have been wondering if i can be more effective in fighting this bastard if i took medication from my anger and my depression.

i'm trying to restart my life with a new job (just started one after two and a half years) and i want to be really efficient and effective. i do find myself thinking about my legal case all the time and i lose focus.....

will being medicated help me focus? if yes, what kind of medication would likely help me ? like i said, the psychiatrist here never prescribed me medicine - only lysanxia and i was the one that asked for them.