Sorry, really bad night.

I crave sleep
I fear closing my eyes
I would love to fall in deep
But I am afraid of the inaudible cries
Each time I lay in bed eyes closed
My imagination creates terrible scenarios
Each worse than the night before
Causing me to awaken in fear
So I find I can't sleep anymore
If you don't mind tonight I need you to be a dear
Just hold me tight and fight away the monsters in my head
Tonight I need a knight to help me fight away this nightmare
So promise me sweet dreams and let me rest my head.

I really don't talk about this. Its one of those things that happened so long ago yet feels so darn close. This one I run away from. I know I shouldnt but I just can't go there. Seems okay when I am awake, its the night that it just plays over and over in my mind. I hate it and wish it would go away. I hate him, I truly do. I don't understand why, how could one do such a crime? Ha, don't even understand myself. Hurts too much to think, really physically hurts. These headaches, I can't take it. Why can't my head just turn the hell off??
Sorry for the racing thoughts tonight. Thanks everyone.
justy