Thanks. Hankster, yes I've tried that artist's date idea and it seems so simple and obviously valuable and doable but why is it that it seems so impossible to carry out...sigh.

SnakeCharmer, yes I agree and said I don't see them as mutually exclusive but for right now I am experiencing them as impossible to do together and would make the project too daunting to try to do both at once, which seems like it could be a goal but not the starting point.

I do see that anger is one of many things getting in the way and my tendency is to go with what is up and the difficult stuff. Now though I can see it another way, which is it may be healthy to work on positive things for a while to try to have more to turn to when approaching the difficult stuff because it is so powerful and overwhelming. Then perhaps the anger wouldn't just take over as much or if it did, I would still have an easier time coming back to baseline.