You know, I think
1. Gambling
and
2. Starting businesses/projects and failing in a epic manner for all to see

are the same. I think they're both gambling. Think about it. Although it's often a symptom of mania to get into something hardcore and then suddenly stop and walk away from it, have you considered that your project building might very well be an extension of gambling?

Why do you use medical marijuana?

Why don't shrinks help you?

I can totally understand the desire to protect your parents from all this -- my parents didn't even really know how bad my alcoholism was. I'm really, really good at hiding ****.

It's really all about resolve. Nothing's going to work unless you're resolved to make it work. It sounds like you're getting there, though.

I don't want to be preachy, but I think you should definitely cut out the weed and go back on the meds. I think that's a good first couple steps. I also think inpatient isn't a bad idea, if outpatient didn't work for you.

I did outpatient rehab when I hit bottom and it helped immensely. I'm not a fan of 12-step programs, but I took what I needed and left. I know it's not rehab we're talking about, but if you can get yourself into a program of some sort, it really could help. I just think you might have to bear with the shrinks, and be open to them.

I really do wish your mom well and hope her test comes out negative.