Hi kindness, I am sorry your father was like that with you, I have seen parents like that and I always found it disturbing. It can be just as bad when a parent is apathetic too.
I think it's a mistake to expect a child to "be the best" or have a child that somehow needs that to happen. It is stressful enough to learn, never mind feel one has to learn better than or above others. I feel it is best to "love the learning" itself and understand that whatever we do learn we will end up applying that in our "own unique way".

For me, I always enjoyed "the moment" when I taught children and raised my own daughter. It really did not matter to me how long it took either, just that it eventually did happen and the best part was the look of joy on the child's face, that was "the moment" I enjoyed "with" them.

I think too much pressure is put on perfection, there is just no such thing, nothing is ever perfect.

I think it is good that you finally got to the point where you realized that too.

((Hugs))
OE