Quote:
Originally Posted by pegasus
Hello GenniPorter, welcome to Psych Central.
Well, that really doesn't sound like a loving two way equal relationship at all. It sounds like a very abusive relationship to me and this will affect your mental health if it continues as it is. Someone with BPD does not usually have violence as symptoms of their disorder, they usually find it difficult to maintain relationships, so this behaviour in my opinion is not part if this mental health diagnosis. Is she totally aware of how abusive she is towards you?
You can either talk to her and suggest counseling either as a couple or and I would say it would be good for you anyway to seek some counseling for yourself. Or you decide to stop this relationship, for your own mental health and wellbeing.  Hard decisions to make. |
Hi Pegasus,
Thank you for your reply. In the past she did have counselling for the violence and her temper and it did help. Although she never has excited her behaviour was her fault, she is convinced I deserved the violence (which usually occurred if I tried to walk away from her rages... She has abandonment issues) Recently I suggested that we had couple counselling but after the second session the counsellor suggested she didn't come back as it was too hard for her emotionally to deal with, she became quite defensive and argumentative to the counsellor and prevented me going back, as she felt it would be an opportunity to talk about her in a negative way. I have considered having counselling without her knowing but it doesn't sit well with me keeping that from her.