Quote:
Originally Posted by kamikazebaby
Yes. It's very painful.
The path towards lessening pain is seen as not relying on people (since I suppose people are rarely going to be trustworthy or reliable), but when someone says such things when one is grieving over being turned away at every opening, it is...very discouraging. It feels like invalidation and more rejection, hearing such things. I don't know about you, but what I want to hear is that someone cares and can empathize, not that I'm on the wrong path and I just have to not care anymore and everything will be fine. I'm not sure how to accept that myself when it goes against what appears to be my fundamental nature.
I'm sorry that you're in this situation and that no one is there for you right now.  |
I understand what you're saying. It's hard to hear someone tell you that you need to take care of yourself ... it feels like invalidation.
But, even you'll agree that ... if you're 30 yrs and 0 days old today, you will be 30 yrs and 1 day old tomorrow. You cannot get back time you lose, so it is wise to think about how you spend each day.
I am of the opinion that one can either sit around and hope for that savior ... this is called idealism, and I used to be guilty of it. ... and surrender control to others, or reject that idea altogether and learn to take care of yourself in whatever way possible ... accept that this world is a harsh, hostile place, and that people are generally selfish ... this is called realism.
If a middle ground exists, I need to see it to believe it
If you're able to find one, I'm truly happy for you.
I was a hardcore idealist most of my life ... it just so happened that my life began when I began to surrender my idealism and resign to the harsh status quo ... and try to adapt to it.
That's just me. Take it with a grain of salt.
I can send hugs your way and say that I'm sorry you feel this way, and pretend that some miracle is going to happen ... I can tell you this all day, everyday, for the next several years. At the end of that time, if that is all you rely on, you will be the same person with the same issues if not worse. Or, I can tell you what I know might help.