((((kali))))

It's a difficult situation you're in at the moment.

Halfway up halfway down all over the place (I describe myself like up down sideways backwards backflips any hell way but straightforward when I'm mixed).

Yes, I can definitely see some behaviours coming through that would be indicative of your mixed state, and this happens, it does.

It's a pity you've been like this for a few months now and you're trying to get off your AP. I'm not suprised it's been so damn turbulent. On top of some external factors there have been psychiatric medication changes too.

Your personal safety is paramount. So I understand what you're saying with regards to waiting until the morning, (but don't force yourself to if you're reaching a point when you're beyond vulnerable....you don't have to).

As for your friends? They suck. Straight up. [Just whatsapp me lol]. You give so much Kali I can't possibly see why this is not reciprocated. It's not you. I'm sorry but it's actually their loss .... they don't know how much they're missing out on and I feel sorry for them. And sorry for you that they can't reciprocate. Doesn't make sense really. It honestly doesn't. A text and no response ... strange, that's them it's not you.

You are aware of some of the behaviours that are less than desirable and believe it or not that's actually a GOOD thing in the middle of an episode ...... now you need to put some measures in place to safeguard yourself against things like overspending (yikes who doesn't - can you set a daily budget or is this unrealistic?) .... gambling ... come on kali, hey, we all make mistakes, you can beat yourself up around the bush and dwell on it or make a firm commitment that you WILL not do this in this current episode, not now, not like this ..... it's impulse behaviour, easier said than done, sure, of course, now you've done it, you don't need to do it again.

You're also busy with different projects - it's a good thing if you need to find a way to invest excess energy by redecorating your aparatment, that's pretty harmless, keep doing it [UNLESS you are using money to go and purchase things to redecorate?.....or are you just moving furniture around lol let's get CI to help he has big muscles]

You can safeguard your bank account. Where do you keep your credit card? In your purse or something? Can you put it inside a little wrapped small envelope inside your purse or something? And on the envelope write in bold statements things you will NOT be taking your credit card out to use for .... GAMBLING (bam no no no) ..... IMPULSE BUYING ....

Do you have any relaxation apps to just chill out? Music? Kick back just escape the madness ... it's tempting to do this in hospital (oh please don't misinterpret me, if your safety is in any way in danger you GO to the hospital) but I'm just wondering what sort of mindful activities you can do whilst you are at home if you aren't admitted. Relaxing things. Don't do things that will get you wound up ..... hey look even I know that's easier said than done, it's easy to fall into activities that aren't necessarily good for us.

Don't spend the next few days in this mixed episode beating yourself up about some of the impulse things you've done over the last few days - NOT going to help you, move on, they can take another queue, somebodys answered that UA already, NEXT.....

Just focus on what you need to do moving forward.

Corny as hell what's done is done don't dwell on it.

Just put your best foot forward. And I know how cool your shoes look

You can do it.

Just take care of yourself and GO if you feel vulnerable, that's all.

Let us know how you go over the next few hours. Will be thinking of you