okai im really going to explain an awkward thing now but i dont know how to get over this. like, a while ago i've been put in a clinic hostel for psychosis and met someone reallyreally awesome, so i told that docter "yee, i really like that guy" and he started laughing at me. it was mean. i mean, that dude is 27, im 16, and it's really weird in general. im away from the clinic hostel now and don't know a **** of what has happend or if my feelings were true, because i was heavily psychotic. and neither how it happend or what's the cause of me feeling something for him plus what i feel for him or if i should be emberrassed for what i said. maybe it was just friendship or whatever, and i actually hope it is. but now i start missing the guy, just like the one living in bulgaria (which is 16 too, and i live in holland), and i don't know how to handle that when still wanting to be perfect. 20 march i can call him. and mostly i kinda overreact in those stuff. instead of being myself, i start being extreme. and it's not cool. everyone is telling me "yee, it's true what he said (the 27y old which works there), he sees you as your sis, and is very proud of you, different than others" but maybe that's just to calm me. i don't know how all these things work you know.. what i read from love is mostly veryvery onesided, and there's only 1 person which feels 100 for one and the other actually is very uninterested. and left him a diary.. i feel very awkward about it and need to wait till 20 march, before i know if he picked it up, liked it or has read it and don't get in trouble with it because i wrote things like "ye, i love you very much!" while he has a girlfriend.. and i don't want to bring him in trouble in any way. i don't know if this is a love feeling, a friendship feeling, a whatever feeling either. it's confusing for me. the docter was surprised to hear he didnt literally said goodbye tho. im scared to get psychotic just the other time i thought i should never see the guy from bulgaria again and search for traces everywhere, when im not allowed to and can't.