Thanks guys. Even my bloody cat was sick on my feet while I was crying last night - I thought she might be the only fan I had left but clearly no! Joking aside, I am just so... I can't take friendships and the knocks and bumps they bring. Criticisms and jealousies and abandonment fears. It's horrible. Last night my parents' friend had a big go at me for not wanting to go back to working in an office (I'm a VERY struggling freelancer) and said I should get my hand tattoos lasered off and take my dreads out and live in the real world. It's what everyone else in my life is thinking, she just had the "guts" to say it. I feel like a total pariah and like people are laughing about me so much behind my back. I used to be proud of my individuality and if I was feeling stronger I'd just get more work and get on with it and prove them wrong. But right now am thinking I either just drink myself to death in my parents' box room or I do what she says and go back to a lifestyle I DESPISE (which with my CV as it is now I doubt I could do).