Hi Penny,

Thank you for introducing yourself to us.

You are certainly not alone in terms of what you are thinking and feeling right now and your thought processes. I've been there too and it happens with phases.

I am really glad to hear that you do have a great support system and that you are on meds to help manage symptoms. Meds don't make us immune to episodes they can help the magnitude I guess. Or in theory anyway. And require adjustment according to our mood state.

I am sorry to hear what happened with your job.

Yes, I have been in similiar situations too. It's not pleasant.

"Motivation" is a real foreign term for me when I am depressed. Almost doesn't exist in my vocabulary to be entirely honest. I tend to self isolate too during these periods. Just want to escape everyone and be by myself.

I do understand what you're going through. I really do.

And many members who read through your post will understand too.

Remember, this phase does not last.

You can work through this.

We go through ups.

We go through downs.

We go through stability too.

I wish for you the path to stability is in sight for you soon.

Right now work on the small things that you can manage and acknowledge yourself and give yourself acknowledgment when you achieve them. Set small, realistic goals, even if these goals are small goals for just the day that you want to achieve. Hell when I'm that depressed even making it to the store to buy groceries is a bloody good enough reason to give myself a pat on the back I am not joking. And try and find one thing that you enjoy doing for yourself each day. I know the word "enjoy" doesn't always fit into the equation when you're feeling depressed. But it's important to take that time to take care of yourself. Healthy nutrition. A walk around the block. Anything simple really.

Look after yourself and please keep posting to let us know how you are going.