i've been in this psychiatric unit for 2 months now. i'm a detainee under the Mental Health Act, and my section finishes on 9th March. that's another 17 days.

i get triggered by the people in the unit all the time. they're all friends, and i don't have any friends, and it really knocks my confidence. seeing people who are obviously severely depressed also just triggers me massively.

i'm asking for my Section to be revoked this week. but i'm only just getting home leave on weekends. So this could mean more weeks in hospital. i feel like hospital is actually making me worse. i feel so much stronger and ready for the world, and being in hospital is like being kicked down over and over again.

i miss my therapist desperately as well. i'm waiting to start EMDR and the wait is huge and everything is just so bloody indefinite, i just need to come home.

i just needed to vent. going to pick myself back up and carry on now. i just can't bear this waiting.

and i can't bear not seeing my T, the one reason i am alive today. it's so bloody painful.