It is true, this is a forum but the subject matter in most of the sections is not about favorite hobbies or entertainment news. It's typically about some of the most serious and painful issues in our lives. Issues that many people can't talk about with others in person. Issues that are often misunderstood or cause people to feel ostracized. I think it's okay to have a space where people need to take a second before they post to consider the impact of their words. I can't count how many times I have sat here, typing and retyping a response to try to get the right tone and message-and then ended up deleting it all because I was afraid it might come across in the wrong way. Sometimes I just say "I'm so sorry you're going through this". And, there is the added factor that we are dealing with the written word and it can be difficult to relay tone and feeling that can be seen and heard when we are face to face with someone.

I too have tried to apply my life experiences when responding to someone's post. And, sometimes that is what the poster has specifically requested. But more often than not people don't specify what type of response they are looking for-empathy, advice or a description of a similar experience which helps the poster to feel less alone. I think it might be helpful to either specifically ask for what type of response one is looking for when creating a thread or to ask someone, before responding to a post, what might be helpful for them.

I too believe that people are posting responses with the desire to be helpful. But we are all different and we won't have the same ideas of what is helpful. When we start to get into the area of "diagnosing" people we are getting into a dangerous area, in my opinion. I mean, therapists who have worked with someone for years can get things wrong and misdiagnose or give inaccurate and even damaging information. How can we assume to be able to offer ideas about what type of therapy someone should try or use diagnostic names and labels and ideas based on a few sentences in a post on a forum? I know that it is with the idea of being helpful and comes from that mindset but, to me, that can have some unfortunate ramifications.

I became involved in this forum because I thought it was a place of support and where I wouldn't be judged and where people would understand what I was saying. I don't see it as a place where we debate which psychological problems someone might have, based on a paragraph of information. I know it can be frustrating when we see someone continually taking a road that we see as dangerous. We want to jump in and help them and try to redirect them to a more healthy place. But unless they have asked us to give advice or make suggestions I think we need to just listen or empathize. And, if that is too frustrating to be a part of, which it can be, maybe just don't go into the thread.