Some posters here seemed to ignore a deluge of opinion here, but eventually took steps toward action. So I assume they heard, but then made the change on their own schedule.

Years ago, I was taught the most respectful way to offer opinion is to talk about my own vulnerabilities and experiences. That allows for the other person to decide if their situation is parallel and to take or leave my conclusions and solutions.

I find the "you shoulds" presumptuous. Though that is not as presumptuous as being psychoanalyzed, someone playing clairvoyant with me, or ascribing motives.

I think finding validation is an important kindness in a difficult, contradicting situation. I think that very much --the point.