This wasn't exactly my point, Lilo. It's in the approach, and the fact that people like to skip right over validating the other person's feelings. If someone falls down the stairs, do you just toss some band-aids at them and say, "There's a phone down the hall to call for an ambulance if it's bad." No.

Of course we all have to take care of ourselves. I think every one of us knows that. It's hard not to. But we want to be cared for and know that our pain matters to someone somewhere. We want to hear that someone understands.

Dropping a "solution" on someone's head that seems impossibly far away just when they're feeling so hurt and hopeless (especially when the person doesn't know how to achieve it) is the opposite of helpful. If anything it weighs that person down more, and they feel even more alienated and uncared for. It's terribly important to address someone's FEELINGS. Not just the problem. We're human beings, not robots.


Personally, I'm not sitting around waiting for a savior, and I don't think anyone else I've read posts from seems to be either. Trust me, I'm a realist of the first degree. I've lost a great deal of my idealism.


See above.