I've been living with it for quite a few years, and you will get through it. You will have good times, and there will be bad. Take it one day at a time. As people with OCD, we can go into full blown panic mode when we think about the future. But try to focus on today. Just get through today, the rest will fall into place. I'm currently going through a bit of a rough patch, but I think it's due to being sick. I had the flu and didn't take my meds. Speaking of meds, I know you may not want to, but you really should consider that option to help. I was hesitant at first, but I was getting to the point that I couldn't function. Getting meds completely turned my life around for the better. You can do this. Be strong.