Hello everyone! I've been wondering for a long time now, wheter I have ADD or ADHD, or not, or if it is something else. My parents, teachers and other family members talks/talked a lot about me, and my behaviour, and 2 years ago I was supposed to take some test and that stuff to find out, but then someone reported my parents for beating me, and that made my mom go crazy, so she didn't want to have something to do with those people (doctors or w.e it's called, those who take care of children with problems at home) anymore, and I had to lie about it to the people who came talking to us, so my mom should get no trouble. So, since I can't do anything about it myself anymore, I'll ask for some held and comments here, and maybe some advise'.

I've always had troubles sleeping, even since I was a very little kid. Sometimes I can stay up all night, or sleep one hour or so, without it's making any sense, for weeks.

I always have to do something. If I have to sit still I always moves my feet or hands, chewing like crazy on w.e I can find, or anything, just to have something to do.

I have very bad consentration, I have to be told things many times before I get it, and I always do many things at once, without thinking about it, so I'm always bussy with things that I shall not to. Like in school, when I'm supposed to be doing tasks or w.e, if I don't find it very interessting, I will do something else instead. I'll be doing a thing in like a few mins, and then I will find it boring and do something other instead. I can't help it somehow. I'm always skipping those tasks who needs much research, time or thinking.

I always have sooo many ideas, and plans about how they are gonna work, etc. I get verry angry when people wont believe in my ideas and say like; "That's never gonna work." or "Where'd you get that from, silly." I also like to work, do things, somehow, better than to sit still and write, etc.

I also write very slowly. And no matter how I try, my brain doesn't seem to respond any faster. I'm a fast reader, that's not a problem. But my writing, oh lord. My classmates always make fun of me when I'm not finished when they are, even the teachers does. They say that I can write faster if I want, cause it doesnt have to look nice, and so. But I dont write so slow because I want it to look nice, but no one seems to believe me. I consentrate much better, and writes much faster when I get to use a computer, but my school wont allow me, somehow.

I have a very short temper, and I handle compliments and comments very bad. What ever is said to me, even if it's ment to be good or to help me somehow, it makes me angry. I don't like other people comanding me what to do or commenting my work. My dad accused me to take drugs, cause I have a so short temper and when I get angry I cant control myself, but really, I've never even been in contact with drugs. Therefore it makes me sad that he thinks I do take drugs.

When I get sad, I get angry too. When I get angry, I have problems controling my self. I have to punch/hit something, I throws or hit almost everything in my way, kicks, yells, cries, and all that, at once. When I hit so hard that I feel pain, I often hit even harder and more, cause when I feel pain, it makes me even more angry. And it doesnt matter to me where I am when those things happen. What's in my way, is in my way.

I often switch from being extremely energetic and happy, to sad, angry and very irritable. My friends sometimes tell me that I am annoying, and that I have to calm down, and when I do, I switch to be irritable and angry again. If not, I will be quiet for a few mins, and then I am just as annoying again. And like that it is.

I often answer before the question are finished, and I have absolutely no patience at all. I always has a lot going on, but none of my projects ever become finished.

I'm often told that I always smile and that kind of stuff, but I don't think I do. I actually feel kind of depressed right now.

I forget very much. I can talk about something, and suddenly everything just disappears from my head and thought. Everything I'm told goes in one ear and out the other, all the time.

I can be sitting home, just thinking or something like that, and my mind and thoughts suddenly goes crazy. It's like someone pushed a forward button, and everything goes twice, if not more, as fast as it should.

I always comes some minutes or so late. If not, I come like hours before I'm supposed to.

I also had a period with cutting myself. Now I don't do it as much as before, I actually almost never do. When I feels like I want to do something like that, I go pierce my ears, hit something or do something else just to avoid it, and it really helps me. The cutting was mostly a part of some depression, came along with some troubles with my mom. She has got problems, but I don't quite now how to explain them in English, so I dont mind. I won't blame her, but I think she's one of my reasons for depression and so.. But I really don't know, other than that I feel better now, and that I now know how to handle her, and doesn't let her come so close on me, as I did before.

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Some of my test results here on PC:
Sanity Score: 129 - 10 serious concerns and 7 milder concerns.
OCD Quiz: 19 - OCD is likely / high risk
Eating Attitudes Test: 25 - Eating disorder likely / high risk
Depression Quiz: 50 - Moderate/severe depression
Bipolar Screen 46 - Bipolar disorder, moderate to severe symptoms
Anxiety Screen 24 - Moderate anxiety
Adult ADHD Screen 23 - Attention Deficit Disorder Likely
Adult ADD Screen 83 - Adult ADD or ADHD

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Now I cant think of nothing more to say, but I'm sure I could have found something if I treid. But please comment and give me some advice of what to do. I'm tired of all this now!!! Just want to sleep and never wake up untill everything is okay.