You can talk to your daughter...


Idk how old she is, and the ground you'll cover will obviously have to be age appropriate, but it seems like a good starting point to me.


If you open up the lines of communication with her, and keep them open, hopefully it will leave you less guilt riddled and maybe in future lead to forgiveness.


One of the worst things I had to come to terms with having this dx, is fearing my daughter would grow up to resent having a crazy mom.


According to her, she doesn't mind the rages scare her though, so I try even harder to shelter her from them as far as possible, but the most important thing is, she doesn't blame me for having BP, for being strange or however she interprets it at this age.


Knowing this took a load off my shoulders, made me feel less guilty as a parent.


Yes I still think she deserves better, but knowing she doesn't want anyone except me, despite of me, well its a beautiful thing to say the least.


Who knows, maybe she'll change her mind when she hits her teens, probably, but for now she knows her mommy has huge mental monsters to battle and doesn't hold it against me.


Seems to me your daughter and how she may perceive you is a major sore spot for you. So that's why I suggest working on your relationship with her, it may open the kind of doors you need to a better tomorrow.