First off I hope you kick those thoughts of Suicide and pray your Mom is Cancer free.
With that said I too live in Cali and have issues with the truth (while manic), gambling, pot, and worse of all alcohol. I too cant hold a job and at 34 still feel being babysat even having a Masters degree also. I found a good doc that put me on a plan. I used to to think MDs and Shrinks tool it personal but they don't if you choose to go elsewhere. Find care that you are cumfy with and will really listen to you. It took me 6 years to find that and I didnt care even if my insurance didnt cover the doctor as long as it kept me in remission thats all I cared about. So go out there and find the help that will get you on a great plan on Meds and on Therapy (life plan)