this is all great advice and I appreciate it.....but it is so raw and new (only 72 hours old since i got the letter from my T abruptly terminating our relationship)....that my mind cannot conceive of accepting giving up on trying to find a more soothing closure with my T so soon.

it might come.....but i cannot conceive of it yet.....

....i hurt more when I try to add it to something conceivable....