Goodness. to all of you or better yet:

It's been 30 years now... since my accident and my supposed "minimal" brain damage... of course my spine and jaw and yadda yadda yadda were injured too...

BUT I'm still working hard at making my brain work again on the level it used to! For example, I used to speak Spanish fluently, but haven't been able to recall the words to speak it on my own...yet I can read and listen with good accuracy. I've tried many other languages over the years, all ones I had had a good bit of exposure (French, Cherokee, Greek...) and only part of ASL is useful for me---the visual signing not the language spelling part. Three years ago I ventured onto Hebrew... mind you, all in trying to retrain the brain so it could build the synapses to where my other language was stored ( do countless brain games on my computer and iPhone too) ... and voila! It's working! This 4th year of study has actually caused (???) some better access to the Spanish. Of course, I've used 3 different courses pretty much at the same time in Hebrew...but it appears to be working.

I haven't worked since the industrial accident and thinking about that and how much I would LOVE to be working makes me feel too sad to allow it...

I often have huge waves of feeling worthless, useless, and wondering how really old people find a reason to live... but I pull out of that (realizing if I all could do is worship God, that would be okay with Him?) and continue...

When I was first injured I could barely talk...for 8 months. I would have fleeting thoughts that often I would forget before getting to the end of the sentence. As that improved, I was cutting people off in their talking (how rude) because I knew my thought would never be expressed if I didn't say it right then. I still have some trouble with this, but find much of what I have to say doesn't matter to others anyway (don't take myself too seriously) and if I can write it down instead (though I lose track of the conversation) THEN if it's still relevant I can add it later.

I feel for you all...and hope you have others (SOMEONE) in your life who can support and encourage you. I'm all alone.