Oh, I'm sure there were positive signs I missed, as well as negative ones. But if they didn't like me enough to pursue the next level of hanging around and keeping in touch, then they didn't like me enough to want become a friend of the kind I describe.

As a non-breeding female, I find it hard to relate to many females. They just assume you want/ed kids. Anything outside that sphere is unfathomable to them. So there's most of the female population right there. I've offended away a couple of female acquaintances accidentally in saying how I feel about reproduction. So the fact that either sex of person is or wants to be a parent basically creates an instant barrier. And there are several other barriers like that. As an oddball, only other oddballs accept me in their sphere, for the most part. As people get older and their parenting role subsides, perhaps they can again turn to other things in the world I inhabit. Oh, yeah, I also have no interest in fashion and makeup, and basically I'm a guy-type female, except I also hate sports with a passion. Normally I don't mention it any more, but it's yet another disconnect from most people. Rather than using these common things as an entry to deeper connection, they're minefields I step over hoping/waiting to get beyond. Such is social life.

Mentoring - hey, I've already raised my husband to being an adult. That was enough for me. Seriously, I feel like an utter failure, and also being an oddball, I don't think I have anything to mentor anyone with. More like I need a mentor still. Also, I was a professional teacher for quite a few years. I've had it with that helping role. I want something for me. Teaching for me was about minds. The social part was basically a high-wire act that left me exhausted.

Also, just a correction, it wasn't me that felt used by anyone but my husband had that experience. I am generally of no use to anyone, clearly. I didn't mind being a helper on canoe trips or letting my hoarder co-worker stay in my place when I was away, so she could have a bath for a change. Didn't mind at all, didn't feel used. I'm happy to be able to give a little, when there is need. But when people assume I'll be a chauffeur and drive across town for them when we have perfectly good transit if they would only get themselves organized, sorry, no, I don't do that. I set limits sometimes.