I don't know if this signifies the "trigger" warning or not...just wanted to be safe than sorry...so if not I'm sorry.

I'm so done and over with being bipolar. I freaking HATE it! It ruins everything! It intensifies every emotion, amplifies every problem..it is ruining my LIFE! And the symptoms are only getting worse, and more intense. I constantly am feeling like someone is squeezing my chest/throat, I'm stressed out about everything. Tonight I literally FELT my mood flip. It was an actual physical feeling. That's never happened to me before. I was in a fine/decent mood then BANG! Pissed off, angry, depressed, sad, feeling alone, stressed out, anxious....all at one time. I HATE being bipolar, I HATE the meds, I hate the constant unknown, I just HATE. I hate my life, I love the few people I have in my life, but hate my LIFE. Does that even make sense? I don't even know!! I have an amazing boyfriend, who tries for me, but I'm moving out - and into my own place because of the bipolar. I have a PERFECT 15 year old daughter, who loves me like mad, but what am I going to be able to give her for her future when I am having such severe lows it literally hurts to move/get out of bed, or my irritation is so high, the people on the end of the line at work are like nails on chalkboard and I get so angry/frustrated/annoyed so quickly with them (I work at a call center)...I get short with her...she doesn't deserve that...
Right now I'm so full of so many different emotions I don't even know which direction I'm going!! I FREAKING HATE THIS DISEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!