(trigger) For most of my life I remembered a clothes iron burning my chest but thought it was me burning myself though I couldn't understand why I would have done that then I remembered it was mom mad at a male and taking it out on me when I was a kid but she did make sure I had food and clean clothes and if I had any problems of a business type nature she was in like a demon against anyone who I had a problem with, I remember once when I was in I think the tenth grade I got an f in an english class which I couldnt understand because i got nothing under an 85% on any classwork or tests so somehow my mom got the teachers files subpoenad and she had nothing under an 85 on me so the board of education passed me. there was another time i was irresponsible an wound up with like 300 dollars of overdraft charges to a bank so mom went with me to see the bank manager she never spoke during the meeting but the bank manager looked down at the table the whole time except to glance at my mother at times at the end he apologized to me and waived all the charges and that only happened because mom was there to give him the evil eye , and there were other good things i'm sure just cant remember. When mt mother died I cried intensley , but when my father died I never shed a tearand that still bothers me , my dad use to slap me to the floor at times and I usually didnt know why he didnt speak to me much at all but I did know I better do what he said , but yknow things were different back in the day too violence was accepted as normal like spare the rod and spoil the child. sorrry I hope I'm not rambling too much