I am really having a bad time. I'm really behind on some of my bills; I did not tell anyone in my family because I am too embarrassed and don't wanna hear a bunch of crap. Plus, I was hoping I could figure something out, and I was real distracted by a bunch of stuff and having mixed episodes. I am having a really bad mixed episode, and I feel like I want to drink and use right now. I've been stuffing my face and zoning out on the internet all day.