It took me ten years of abject misery and pain to "move on" from my father's death (I was ten when he died). During that time i started cutting, got hospitalized six times, spent three months in the state hospital and six months in a residential treatment facility. My brother became addicted to drugs. He spent most of my wedding crying because our dad wasn't there to see it. He also has a severe anger problem and has kicked/punched a lot of holes through his walls.

Your son already has emotional difficulties. You dying would screw him up for the rest of his life, ESPECIALLY if you took your own life.

Reconsider. Don't let depression fool you.