Quote:
Originally Posted by marieburch
We live in California. He says he is having a mental breakdown due to work. Yet to cover it up he told his family its me. He works in the family business and dislikes his job. Yet he wont tell the family its the job (i'm the scapegoat). The only thing I could think of is he doesn't want to let them down. Yes I am going to get therapy on my own.
My question is why is he doing this to me? If he wants a divorce he just needs to say it. Ive asked him and he says he doesnt. Does he sound like he is having some sort of mental issue?
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To answer your questions he is doing it to you because he so far he has gotten away with it and because he views you as more vulnerable than himself and least likely to fight back. And yes, it is some sort of mental issue. Common sense would tell him that abusing you is no way to resolve whatever his career and family of origin issues are. But his common sense has left him. However, I'm more concerned about you. He cannot put you out of your own home.
And since you are a couple, it is your home, too, regardless of who is actually paying the bills. It's time to be honest with him, with his family and with yourself. You don't need to wait for him to ask for a divorce, either. You would be well-advised to start acting on your own behalf and stop worrying about him. By the way, the way he is now …
he is the man you married. You might not have seen that in him. But it was there. Stop couch surfing, go home, and if you need to, get a locksmith to let you in your own home. Bring the police with you, if you need to.